somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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