She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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