hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
