So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
