I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
