I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
