haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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