Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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