party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
