I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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