No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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