so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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