Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
