i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
