told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
