Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
