I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
