White coat. Heels.
another moral hangover. fuck.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
