I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
