i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
