you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
