What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
