Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
