i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
