I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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