I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
