if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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