hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
