this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The Olympian is in my bed
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
