It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
