Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
