A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
