Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
