i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
