Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
