go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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