i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
