I just pynch a tree in the face
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my shit smells like andre
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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