i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
