Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
