It was confusing and full of hummus
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You ruined the universe
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
