in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
