She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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