are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Two words: blizzard sex
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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