I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
