I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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