do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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