You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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