He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
