went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
